Remembering Mom

by Mary Ellen

Because Jim and Rosemary fell in love many years ago and stayed in love throughout their marriage, we kids had the most fortunate of starts in life.  We had stability, love, discipline and support that guided us each and every day. 

Mom frequently told us kids over the years that we should be glad we got our father’s brains.  In truth, there was absolutely nothing wrong with Mom’s brain.  But the very best of Mom was her heart.

Mom was known as being a first class worrier.  This quality seems pretty understandable for someone who raised seven kids and frequently saw her name in our small town newspaper whenever she had to take one of us to the hospital for stitches.  But she loved and cared about so many people that her worries extended well beyond just her kids to the point of seeming comical at times.  One time she fretted all night about a blind man at the nursing home where she volunteered.  The man had been so pleased that day because he had gotten his suit back from the cleaners, but Mom had noticed there was a spot on it.  She was so afraid someone would tell him and he would be upset.  Dad offered to get the suit cleaned again or even just buy the man a new suit if Mom would just stop worrying and let him get some sleep.  Mom even worried about her “grand dogs”.  She once noticed our dog Toby, a happy go lucky Lab, seemed to have a furrowed brow and she was concerned about what he might be worrying about.  We tried to convince her that his thoughts rarely extended past when he might get his next biscuit or when we would be going for a walk, but she was sure there was something bothering him.

Mom could get so much enjoyment just being with those she loved.  She  had a way of making simple times more fun.  As kids I can remember driving trips and when we would go down a hill, she would call out “Wheeee,”  setting us all to giggling.  I also remember countless pitchers of Kool-aid always being available on warm summer days for us and half the neighborhood kids.  And to this day, I still like licking the beaters after making frosting.  When she would come to visit us as adults, we used to joke she traveled with her own can of Comet so she could clean as soon as she got to our homes.  It was never meant as being critical, since she thought her kids were perfect.  She just wanted to help.  Of course she also thought her grandkids were perfect too.  One of my favorite memories of that is from Tom and Janice’s wedding.  By the time Tom married, many of the grandkids were of drinking age, so as you can imagine they had a great time on Uncle Tom’s tab.  At one point during the evening she leaned over to me and said, “Aren’t all the grandkids having a wonderful time?”  She apparently hadn’t noticed them taking turns bringing armloads of drinks back to their table, and even if she had it wouldn’t have mattered one bit.  Her grandkids were perfect, and she was so glad to have them near her at that wedding or anytime.

Mom also had a wonderful ability to laugh at herself.  One of the best examples of this was when we were living in Cleveland.  Growing up with a big family and without a lot of bathrooms one had to be ready when your chance came.  At least that’s the explanation I give for why we frequently would go back and forth from our rooms to the bathroom in various levels of clothing.  One time Mom was in the bathroom in her underwear with her false teeth in hand as she brushed them and prepared for the day.  I was in my underwear as well and had left her to go back to my room to get something.  Just then I heard a male voice coming down from the third floor bedroom.  No big deal – until I realized it wasn’t the voice of one of my brothers.  I’m ashamed to admit I saved myself, dodging into my own room and shutting the door.  As Bob’s friend Harry Dempsey opened the stairway door and turned into the hallway, he and Mom had a very awkward moment.  Harry hurriedly headed downstairs.  A few minutes later, a now dressed Mom came in to the breakfast nook and said to Harry, “ Well shall I kill Bob or shall you?”  I believe this led to some new rules in the house that no matter what time you arrived home at night if you brought a friend with you, you needed to let Mom know.  However, that became one of Mom’s favorite stories to tell over the years.     

Mom had such a capacity for love.  Whether it was her kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews, neighbors, friends or people she had just met, when you were with her she always made you feel so important to her.  And you were.  She loved you.  She believed in you.  And yes, she worried about you.  How lucky for all of us.